Dating Do's and Don'ts


Do bring your wallet - Even if he was the one who invited you out, you should be prepared to go dutch. And if you guys are trying out a new restaurant, have extra cash in case of surprises.

Do listen - Don’t blabber on and on about yourself. Remember: good communication is two-way. Take your time to get to know each other and let the details of your life and emotions naturally unfold. This ensures none of you gets overwhelmed prematurely in the relationship.  

Do dress up - Find out where you guys are going. It would not be nice if you are denied entry into a swanky restaurant because of your “Mr Cute” tee shirt. And you might want to skip wearing white – gravy that is splattered on white shirts looks especially conspicuous. Also, your bright pink super small tee shirt which accentuates your tight pecs may be too much for him to take – and are you sure you want to invite that many glares on your first date?

Do keep the first few dates short and sweet - As the old saying goes: “Less is more.” Keep the meeting short and sweet. However, do be observant and present to the occasion; tune into him and your feelings. Remember, this is the first impression he’ll get of you.

Do bring a condom - Although we recommend that you do not jump into bed immediately, always bring condoms because you would not know when you need them. To make sex more pleasurable, bring some water -based lubricants too. If you are caught without them, grab some from a convenience store. Small satchets condom packs and lubricants are available from Oogachaga or Action for AIDS.

Don’t pour out your sorrows - In the earlier stages, avoid talking about tragic or miserable past experiences. NOBODY wants to date someone who is preoccupied with his past.

Don’t jump into bed after your first date - This may be hard, but ask yourself this: do you like this guy for now or forever? If you are looking for your lifetime partner, generally it would be better to delay having sex. This is to prevent yourself from sending the wrong message. Remind yourself this: the process of getting to know a gay partner requires investment in time and effort.

Don’t mention your ex - Mentioning your former partner on the first date is a bad idea. It doesn’t matter if you broke up with him or he passed away; stay clear of this for now. Also, avoid trashing your ex at all costs. It’s a major turn off, shows that you are ungentlemanly and leads one to think, “What’s he going to say about me later on?”

Don’t be obsessive - If the other person doesn’t call, he might have been too busy to answer. Leaving five voice mails after the first date can scare your date away.