Group Sex
Threesome, foursome, the more the merrier?
A group sex session, where there are more than 2 sex partners, is also known as an “orgy”. For some, it is a high energy event, where alcohol, drugs or unprotected sex may be involved. For others, it can be confusing and intimidating, due to the presence of multiple partners.
Amid all the action, do you still have a say in what happens? How does it work? And what happens when the fun comes with risks?
Meet Market
So what exactly goes on during an orgy? Is it like a speed dating session, or a random hook-up where you just call up a couple of guys to get together?
During our recent Taboo Conversation on group sex, as part of the Open Door on Fridays @ Oogachaga, the facilitators and participants re-enacted an activity where an organiser was trying to bring together people for a session.
The activity began by revealing only the age, height and weight of the people who were potentially attending the group sex session. Over a few rounds, their other “attributes” were slowly revealed, including sexual fetish, role, photograph, presence of STIs and also their HIV-status.
STIs (sexually-transmitted infections) include diagnosed and undiagnosed conditions, like syphilis or gonorrhoea, and their HIV-status could be positive, negative or unknown (as the person had not recently taken an HIV test).
The purpose of this was to highlight the anonymous nature of group sex, and the extent of “unknowns” that one may encounter with one’s different sex partners.
In other words, you may not know exactly what you are going to get until you are in the act itself.
And then again, do you really know what you’re getting?
To join or not to join?
Some organisers of sex parties may introduce certain requirements for their players, such as “hi fun” (which refers to the use of illegal recreational drugs to induce a chemical “high”), or “raw fun” or “BB” (referring to bare-backing, or having anal sex without condoms). As you can imagine, when you add the use of alcohol and multiple partners, there is a certain level of sexual health risk involved.
So what can you do to protect yourself should you decide to participate in group fun?
When there are many players involved, you will need more condoms. One for each partner, and no re-using or recycling. The latex used in condoms is a bio-degradable material, and should be disposed properly after a single use.
Not only does using different condoms for each partner protect you, it also protects other people from the possible STIs present within the party.
The use of recreational drugs is not only illegal and a chargeable offence in Singapore, it can also impair your sense of judgement and also embolden you to take risks that you might normally avoid, eg: have unprotected sex.
Quite importantly, should you be uncomfortable having sex with anyone, or with the entire session, know that you have the right to decline and not participate.
This also applies to safer sex. Clearly inform the other players that you prefer to use a condom and lube, and decline if he refuses. Do not let your self-esteem and safety be compromised along the way.