Where to find your guys

Online chat rooms or dating sites – are you looking for sex or love? Whatever it is, be clear. Write it down on your profile. State clearly the kind of guys you are looking out for and the circumstances under which you are willing to meet. But remember, having a headless naked body or close up shot of your family jewels will attract different types of men, even if you state that you are looking for long term relationship.

Gay venues (clubs/bars) – there are many gay men who live for a weekend of dancing. If you are intimidated by the bigger lounges, there are many smaller, less intimidating ones that are great meeting places too. Heterosexual clubs are good too – many gays go to straight clubs with their straight friends. 

Referrals from friends/co-workers – this is actually one of the best ways to meet a guy, given that your friends and co-workers would know your personality traits and the type you are looking for. So if your friends are not busy setting you up, ask them to. You’ll be amazed at the number of times you’ll hear: “Now that you say, I do know of someone…” And even if you might not fall in love with the ‘referral’, you guys can at least be friends. And straight friends can help too.

Community events – e.g. Pink Dot, workshops by Oogachaga or special interest groups like The Bear Project. 

Go where they go – if you like a certain type of guys, go where they go. Let’s say you’re looking for a guy that has an interest in theatre, then join a local theatre group or hang out at local venues frequented by theatre lovers. If your dream lover is a body builder, then spend more time at the gym, because more than likely that’s where he’ll be most of the time.

Everywhere! – The supermarket! Inside the train. Open your eyes wide and look around! You’ll be surprised that gay people are everywhere. If you are shy, take your time and ease your way into the scene. In time, there will always be someone for everyone.